Dr. Randy clears up!

Hello Dr. Randy, as soon as I have had sex, I suffer from pain (Ferdi, 46 years). It is probably an increased level of suffering that has caused me to turn to you today. For a few weeks now, I have noticed that I am skeptical about having sex with my boyfriend. Not because I don't feel like it, but because I know from the start that I'm going to be in pain again. I haven't been to the doctor about it yet, but I'm afraid that sooner or later I won't be able to avoid it. I've also never had a prostate exam in my mid-40s - simply because it makes me uncomfortable. Is there any way I can find out for myself what the problem is? I haven't talked to my boyfriend about it yet. I think he would be upset anyway if he knew I had put my problem on the back burner. LG, your Ferdi Dear Ferdi, unfortunately I have to tell you that you are definitely not acting on your own...

Hey Dr. Randy, how do I know if my loved one is gay too? (Ali, 18 years) I'm 18 years old and I'm not outed as gay. So far, so good. My problem is that I don't know if the guy I like so much is like me. Admittedly, we don't know each other that well yet. And the fact that I know him from training (we started at the same company at the same time) doesn't make it any easier. I don't feel like inviting him on a date, getting turned down and then - in the worst case - being laughed at. Thanks for the help, Ali Dear Ali, yes, life could be so easy if you could look other people IN the head. Unfortunately, however, this is not possible. This means that sooner or later you will probably have to take the initiative in some way - unless your crush goes on a flirting spree of its own accord. In the first step, it can help to find out a little more about him....

Hi Dr. Randy, I find our sex so boring (Paddy, age 24). My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years. Slowly but surely I have the impression that with us but in bed the air is out. When I look at gay porn and listen to the stories of my buddies (also straight guys), I get a little envious. They tell me about sex in "forbidden places", about cruising and "horny orgasms". I'm already happy when we change the position once. I do not dare to talk to my boyfriend, because he once hinted that his ex-relationship broke up because of exactly such a discussion. Now the question is simply in the room "what should I do"? Thanks for your understanding Greetings, Paddy Dear Paddy, I think it is very empathetic of you to take into account your partner's past and not to open the door. On the other hand, I'm sure we agree that this is not the way to...

Hello Dr. Randy, I can't cope with the fact that my partner is bisexual (John, 24 years old). I have been with my boyfriend for about three months. He is about my age and slowly but surely you just tell each other a lot about your past. Recently he "confessed" to me that he has already had two relationships with women. He also says that he finds some women from our environment attractive. I'm sure he thinks nothing of it, but I could go nuts! I always deal with the thought that because of his bisexuality he has - at least theoretically - twice as many possibilities to cheat on me. I am generally rather pessimistic about such issues and I can already see that he will eventually leave me for a woman. To protect myself from my gloomy thoughts, I have even considered leaving him. Please help me. Kind regards John Dear John, indeed trade...

Hello Dr. Randy, I no longer get a high, what can I do? (Frank, 46 years) My problem is in the title. I have a lot of problems getting an erection. I have been in a relationship for about six months and I am happy. My boyfriend also turns me on and I would really call him my "dream man". However, I still can't get a hard-on. Of course, the whole thing is also putting a strain on our relationship. I wonder what I can do. Do I really have to go to the doctor? Or will the whole thing go away on its own? Thanks for the help, greetings Frank Dear Frank, you are definitely not alone! There are many younger men who suffer from erection problems. Of course, that doesn't really help you in your personal situation. Maybe you won't be thrilled that I'm actually advising you to see a doctor. Especially when erection problems are not only occasional, but also...

Hello Dr. Randy, HELP! My penis is too small (Luis, 21 years old). Honestly, it takes an extreme amount of effort for me to write to you at 21 years old, but I have something burning on my mind. I am currently single and would really like to cruise. The problem is: I am ashamed of my small penis. Not only is my penis not big, it's small. In fact, I'd almost say it's tiny. I'm afraid that I would embarrass myself with it while cruising. Do you know if it's "superficial" at the locations in question. I don't want to get a trauma there. It's enough for me to know that someday I'll have another boyfriend to undress in front of. I hope you have some tips for me, greetings Luis Dear Luis, first of all it should be said that most cruising locations are really tolerant and open. I have never heard of a man being laughed at for having a small penis. Dennoc...

Hello Dr. Randy, I wanted to ask if intimate piercings are still in or dangerous? (Pete, 47 years) As you can see from my headline, I am currently considering an intimate piercing. I don't know yet which variant I will choose exactly. All I know is that my boyfriend is anything but enthusiastic. He keeps saying that this type of jewelry is now completely out and that the risk of the whole thing getting infected at some point is extremely high. Is that really the case? Especially about the objection with the inflammation I worry of course. Plus: I'm extremely upset that he wants to restrict me like this at the age of 47. I mean: Hello? I have not said that I will get a tattoo or the like! Best thanks already, Pete Dear Pete, Intimate jewelry is still in - of course not only within the gay scene. However, it is also true that with every piercing - no matter if a...

Hello Dr. Randy, I am extremely burdened by my long-distance relationship (Tommy, 39 years). I am 39, met a guy about half a year ago. I am from Frankfurt, he is from Cologne. When we want to visit each other, we need about 2.5 hours on the highway (without traffic jams). I know: many who live in a long-distance relationship are laughing now. But: the distance is too great for us - also because of our jobs - to commute back and forth here every day. However, I increasingly notice that the situation no longer makes me happy. In addition, I would like to be able to spontaneously drop in on my boyfriend in the evening without having to worry about having to get up at half past four the next morning to be at the office on time. I miss him a lot. In addition, he is a very sociable person and has already uninvited me the one or other weekend because he wanted to meet up with his buddies. Best thanks for your help, in love, ....

Hello Dr. Randy, my partner is into BDSM but I am not at all (Achim, 47 years) My name is Achim and I am 47 years old. You can read my problem above: My boyfriend has started to read more and more about BDSM in the last weeks. The problem: I can not really do anything with it. At the beginning I honestly didn't really think about his interest in whips and co. either. As the saying goes. I thought it was a phase. However, that's exactly what it obviously isn't. Again and again he talks about how he would like to try the different practices with me. But I don't want to. At the same time, I don't want to lose him. What can we do? All the best and thank you, Achim Dear Achim delicate topic! Especially because you have to honestly admit that there are no compromises here. Or is there? The answer to this question depends a bit on your attitude. ...