Dr. Randy clears up!

Hello Dr. Randy, are poppers legal? (Michi, 27 years) For a long time now, my partner has been getting on my nerves because he would like to try poppers. I have also heard about it again and again during my former gay cruising adventures. Most of the guys I talked to were very enthusiastic about them. Some even said they had the sex of their lives thanks to poppers. To be honest, I'm a little skeptical here. Among other things, because you hear again and again, the stuff would be illegal and maybe even harmful to health. As cool as I think sex is... I wouldn't want to risk my health. So I actually have two questions: 1. is it allowed to take poppers and 2. can the things become dangerous? I definitely don't want to be the one who "doesn't dare". At the same time, of course, it doesn't do any good if I'm afraid of passing out during sex, for example....

Dear Dr. Randy, I wanted to forgive him after his fling, but I can't! My boyfriend had a fling a few months ago. At some point, his guilty conscience seems to have eaten him up and he confessed everything to me. Since we have been together for years, I decided to forgive him at that time. I thought to myself that you don't just throw away an otherwise very stable partnership. In retrospect, however, I have to say that I had imagined this "forgiving" to be easier. I realize that I am still very angry (and also suspicious). What should I do? Best thanks Mick, 43 Hello Mick, You are indeed in a difficult situation. But at the same time I would like to emphasize that I think it is incredibly strong character of you to try to forgive him for the infidelity. This shows how much you obviously care about him. The fact that you are now not as before...

Hello Dr. Randy! How can I find a connection in a gay cinema? (Tim, age 32) I am one of the (probably few) men who actually manage to leave a gay cinema without having sex. It's not that I don't feel like it, but somehow all I can do is watch one after the other get towed away. I always come up empty and I'm seriously starting to wonder what I'm doing wrong. I already have no desire to go out. Thx Tim Hello Tim, basically it should be said that not every flirt or sex tour has to be crowned with success. Even the most passionate lover has gone home unsatisfied at some point. Could it be that you are too uptight about the "gay cinema project"? Freely according to the motto "I am here now and MUST have sex now!" it can be that you restrict yourself and so - of course - the fun of the thing is lost. Many men make the mistake that ...

Hello Dr. Randy, My best buddy quit my friendship after my outing (Marcel, 19 years). I am completely desperate. I have known for about two years that I am gay. I've had secret affairs on and off, but I've decided that I now want to come out publicly with my gayness. Since I had a lot of anxiety about coming out anyway, I figured the best place to start would be with my buddy. We've known each other since kindergarten (!), so the trust factor is high. Unfortunately, however, my buddy did not react as I had hoped. At first he thought it was a joke and laughed at me. Then he became serious and said that then our friendship was history. After all, he didn't want "God and the world" to think he was gay, too. That was the last I heard from him. Since then we have had no more contact with each other. That was a week ago. I am very sad, especially, ...

Hello Dr. Randy, I am desperate. I broke up with my boyfriend about three months ago. It just didn't fit anymore and we grew apart. And now stalking is a daily occurrence with me. Sure: it's always easier for the one who leaves, and I knew that my boyfriend would have to nibble at the end of the relationship. But I didn't expect the whole thing to degenerate like this now. He bombards me with messages through all channels. Wherever I am - be it in the supermarket - he is also conspicuously often. In the meantime, he has also started to badmouth me to our mutual friends. At the same time, he regularly sends me flowers and gifts - often even with photos of us as "postcards". He knows that I can't (and don't want to) imagine a future together with him, but he won't give up. What should I do? LG, Your Frederik Dear Frederik, as you said: the one who leaves always has it easier. Ge...

Hello Dr. Randy, What do I do if my child is being bullied? (Lars, age 37) Actually, I couldn't be happier. My husband and I adopted our son about a month ago. We feel like a real family now and enjoy every moment together. Jonas, our son, is now three years old and will soon start kindergarten. Of course, like any parent, we want him to have a fulfilling childhood. The thought that there are intolerant people who might see us as a rainbow family with a child as "different" or "not normal" makes me angry and worried at the same time. I am afraid that my son might be bullied in kindergarten because he has two dads. In the meantime, the subject is giving me sleepless nights. My husband is much more relaxed about this than I am. He thinks I should wait and see how things develop. What advice do you have for me? Best thanks, Lars Dear Lars, first of all: Cordial...

Hello, Dr. Randy, My boyfriend always wants to sleep apart (Sven, 38 years). My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and now we want to move in together. "By the way" he announced to me today that it is important to him to have separate bedrooms. Hello? I'm not 80+, I'm 38 and I think it's great when my husband is next to me. It just seems very distant to me right now and I felt really put out. Am I exaggerating? This opinion is my friend, but I could just freak out again! Kind regards Sven Hello Sven, I can well imagine that you were very surprised when your boyfriend told you how he imagines your living together. At the same time, it should be said that there are now actually many couples who sleep in separate beds. This does not necessarily mean that the happiness of your relationship is on the line. In other words, has your boyfriend explained why he ...

Dear Dr. Randy my problem is that I always come too early (Arne, 26 years). My problem is a little embarrassing, especially since I am only 26 years young. I always come too early. And when I write "always", I mean "always". My boyfriend actually knows perfectly well that the fun is over after a few minutes. I'm not just sorry about the whole thing. I feel stress every time we have sex. I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed sex. The whole thing gets me so down that I now reject my boyfriend and claim that I don't feel like it. I don't have to explain that this leads to discussions, do I? What should I do? Many thanks, your Arne Hello Arne, Sex should be fun. If you put yourself under pressure of this kind, it's not really effective. But I admit that this is all easy to say. Nevertheless, you don't have to give up. I am quite sure that in the long run a solution for ...

Hello Dr. Randy, My boyfriend only wants to watch gay porn (Jan, 24 years). You can read my problem already in the headline. My boyfriend watches gay porn. Daily, during the day, actually whenever he has time. At first I didn't really take it seriously. He watched them alone and I never really had anything to do with it. In the meantime, however, the whole thing is getting out of hand. He watches this crap every free minute and wants to try different things with me. In general, I have no problem with different positions, BDSM and so on. On the contrary! Meanwhile, however, it seems to me that he is extremely focused on the movies here and less on me. We even made a bet if he would manage not to watch for a week. After three days he gave up - which I find very alarming. How do I get him away from the movies? LG, Yours Jan Dear Jan, For me the whole thing reads...