Hello Dr. Randy! How can I find a connection in a gay cinema? (Tim, 32 years)

I am one of the (probably few) men who actually manage to leave a gay cinema without having sex. It's not that I don't feel like it, but somehow all I can do is watch one after the other get towed away. I always come up empty and I'm seriously starting to wonder what I'm doing wrong. I already have no desire to go out.

Thx Tim

How to find connection in a gay cinema

Hello Tim,

basically it should be said that not every flirt or sex tour must be crowned with success. Even the most passionate lover has gone home unsatisfied at some point. Could it be that you are too uptight about the "gay cinema project"? Freely according to the motto "I am here now and MUST have sex now!"It may be that you restrict yourself and so - of course - the fun of the thing is lost.

Many men make the mistake that they associate sex cinemas with gang bangs, sex without long inquiries and orgies. And of course, most of them are not interested in starting a long-term relationship in a sex cinema. But it would also be wrong to assume that the guys here would "fly"toyou.

The good news is that I think your problem can be solved quickly if you try to be a little more relaxed about your next visit to the gay cinema. Unfortunately, it is not clear from your letter how you are proceeding so far. Do you approach the men you like? Or do you wait until they come to you?

In general, you should always keep in mind that even in a classic sex place, like a sex cinema, a mix of the famous gut feeling, eye contact and a little luck is needed to be successful in the end.

A "basic rule" that plays a particularly important role in this context: Take your time - if this is possible. Sure, it can be very exciting to "jump" into the sex cinema, be satisfied and then go home again. However, this is also a kind of "stress"(= "I HAVE to have sex quickly now!"), which you should avoid after your last experiences.

Instead, it makes sense to go to the cinema without any expectations, look around and make eye contact with the guys who might feel the same way as you. If you have problems with the "1:1 situation", you can also visit the cinemas later in the evening and on weekends. There is usually more going on here anyway... And if several men are already involved with each other, it is easier for many - as pragmatic as it may sound - to "get in".

Another option that can help you break the famous "first hurdle": You can arrange a sex date in a gay cinema near you via chat. Many men find it easier to write about their expectations and preferences. The rest often happens on the spot all by itself. A "nice side effect": if you know in advance that you do not have to wait or look for a suitable partner, you can - so I would assume - look forward even more to your upcoming experiences in front of the screen or in one of the booths.

In summary: Don't be discouraged by your experience in gay cinema. It was certainly not because of you, but maybe just because of too high expectations. If you are more relaxed during your next visits to the sex cinema and actually try to let everything come to you, you will certainly be able to report differently.

Your Dr. Randy


I know it well, I can tell! He had a fling!

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