Hello Dr. Randy, I find our sex so boring (Paddy, 24 years).

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years. Slowly but surely I have the impression that with us but in bed the air is out.

When I look at gay porn and listen to the stories of my buddies (including straight guys), I get a little envious.

They tell me about sex in "forbidden places", about cruising and "horny orgasms". I am already happy when we change the position once.

I don't dare talk to my boyfriend because he once suggested that his ex-relationship broke up over just such a discussion.

Now the question in the room is simply "what should I do"?

Thank you for your understanding

Greetings, Paddy

Our sex is really boring

Dear Paddy,

I find it very empathetic of you to take into account your partner's past and not to fall with the door in the house. On the other hand, we certainly agree that it can't go on like this. After all, sex should be fun.

Therefore, I would actually suggest that you talk to your boyfriend. Maybe he feels the same way and doesn't dare to talk to you? The best thing would be for you to sit down together - optionally over a glass of wine - and think about how you can continue to work on your partnership (and also in bed).

As long as you are careful not to accuse each other of anything, nothing should really go wrong. Why should it? You haven't just been together since yesterday and I think you can judge your sweetheart well. A healthy partnership includes, among other things, talking about things that may be a little "uncomfortable".

At the same time, however, I would like to emphasize that it is wrong to compare oneself with others - especially when it comes to sex. Especially gay porns don't seem to me to be the perfect solution here. Sure: it's fun to watch them. Nevertheless, you should always remember that these are really just movies and not reality.

Accordingly, it would also be a bit unfair to compare the plot with your own sex life in everyday life.

In summary: talk to your sweetheart! Explain to him what's on your mind right now. Ideally, this will give you an insight into a new erotic world. Maybe you'll try out new techniques? Maybe you decide to visit a gay cinema? The possibilities are many, and as long as everyone involved is having fun, there's nothing to stop you. At the same time, of course, you should not force yourself to do something - according to the motto "Themain thing is variety!"At the same time, you shouldn't force yourself to do something you're not really interested in. If you are not into orgies, you are not into orgies. Period.

The worst thing that can happen is that you talk about your problems not with him, but with your buddies, for example. Such an approach will not only get you nowhere, but - if he finds out that you have brought your problems to the outside world - it can be very hurtful.

Therefore: use the basis of trust that you have and build on it. I'm relatively sure that if you present everything that's on your mind with empathy and understanding, not much can go wrong. And who knows? Maybe your partner will be grateful for your courage afterwards? After all, he can also benefit from the two of you putting out some feelers together.

All the best to you!
Your Dr. Randy


Do you always wonder, is my crush gay too?

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