Hello Dr. Randy, as soon as I have had sex I suffer from pain (Ferdi, 46 years)
Probably it is an increased suffering pressure that makes me turn to you today. For a few weeks now, I have noticed that I am skeptical about having sex with my boyfriend.
Not because I don't feel like it, but because I know from the start that I'm going to be in pain again. I haven't been to the doctor about it yet, but I'm afraid that sooner or later I won't be able to avoid it.
I've never had a prostate exam in my mid-40s either - simply because it makes me uncomfortable. Is there any way to find out for yourself what the problem is? I haven't talked to my boyfriend about it yet. I think he would be upset anyway if he knew I had put my problem on the back burner.
LG, your Ferdi
Dear Ferdi,
Unfortunately, I have to tell you that you should definitely not act on your own or try any remedies. You have pain after (and maybe during) sex. The reasons for this can be many and varied. Psychological reasons are also theoretically possible.
The classic diagnoses that are repeatedly made in this area include foreskin constriction, inflammation in this area or prostate problems. Perhaps there are also joint problems behind it? As you can see, there are a number of possible causes that only a doctor can explain to you in the course of a direct examination. Remote diagnoses are absolutely out of place here.
I find it very distressing that you are obviously not comfortable with the idea of an investigation. I don't mean that in a reproachful way at all! There are many men who shy away from a prostate examination! But: this is a comparatively uncomplicated possibility to quickly detect diseases in this area and - if necessary - to take countermeasures.
Therefore, I can only urge you to see a doctor.
Maybe it will help you if you are open with your concerns and let him know that you feel rather uncomfortable about being examined. Believe me! It's not just the dentist who has anxiety!
Maybe your friend would like to accompany you to the doctor? One thing is certain: without an examination you will not find out what you are suffering from and how you can alleviate or combat your symptoms.
Therefore: Take heart and make an appointment. You're sure to find testimonials from men in your area on the Internet. Maybe you also have a buddy or two in your circle of friends who can give you a tip about which practice will make you feel comfortable.
I wish you all the best!
Kind regards
Dr. Randy
Again and again or even still he has contact with his ex