At what point does jealousy actually become a problem?
Jealousy can become a real problem within a relationship - in many ways. If one person affirms that he or she is not jealous in any way, the partner often feels that he or she is "not very desirable". The relationship can also suffer greatly from too much jealousy. If trust is repeatedly questioned, this can develop into a high potential for conflict.
Many people talk about a "healthy level" of jealousy. But what exactly is meant by this and when does jealousy become a serious problem?
Some criteria can help to find out how jealous the partner is compared to the rest of society and whether the respective feelings are perhaps too much of a good thing. In general, if you tolerate your partner's jealousy for too long, you will have a hard time changing anything in the basic construct of the relationship.
What is jealousy anyway?
By definition, jealousy is the fear of losing the love and affection of your partner or having to share it with someone else. The feeling usually arises when another man flirts with the partner or at least makes advances. It can happen that the jealousy is stronger than the trust in the partner.
Those who can solve and discuss these situations in a relaxed manner as far as possible usually do not have to fear that jealousy will destroy or influence the relationship. Every now and then, however, boundaries are crossed. And that is exactly what makes the feeling so dangerous for existing partnerships.
In connection with jealousy, there is always talk of the so-called "Othello syndrome". This "jealousy mania" is caused by brain-organic damage. It often occurs together with dementia or Alzheimer's disease. This jealousy mania knows then as good as no limits and is 24/7 companion of these persons.
Other, pathological types of jealousy are often due to psychological trauma from childhood, in the context of which the affected person had to witness psychological neglect or smallholding.
Signs of problematic jealousy
Not everyone who exhibits one or two of the following signs must be excessively jealous. But: the more points that apply, the more likely it is that there is a serious problem. Pathological jealousy is not a kind of compliment and should not be taken lightly.
Sign No. 1: Control
"What are you doing on your cell phone?", "Who are you texting with?", or "Are there other men around?"... Such remarks are harmless at first glance. But if you have to listen to such questions every day and don't dare to answer honestly, you should think about whether everything is still okay within the relationship. A permanent control over conversations or meetings can indicate a pathological jealousy.
Sign No. 2: "Golden cage".
Anyone who has to make an effort to avoid stress in the relationship when meeting new people should also be alert. Rather delete the conversation on the cell phone instead of telling the partner about it for fear that he will completely freak out? Then it's time to talk to your partner about it!
Sign No. 3: The takeover of the schedule
Those who are no longer allowed to meet friends or go out without (or even with) their partner are also likely to be caught in a pathological spiral of jealousy.
Sign No. 4: Distrust and confirmation
Is the partner suspicious of other people? Mostly, a weakened self-confidence is indicated here, which shows the fear of being abandoned. If at the same time he still needs a lot of confirmation of love within the relationship, this can also be a sign of pathological jealousy.
Conclusion
Unfortunately, even in this day and age, many people still confuse "jealousy" and "love" with each other. Therefore, it is all the more important to always try to keep a realistic view of your own relationship and, if necessary, to focus on the most important factor of all: Communication.
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