Hello Dr. Randy, I wanted to ask if intimate piercings are still in or dangerous? (Pete, 47 years)
As you can see from my headline, I am currently engaged in an intimate piercing. For which variant I will decide exactly, I do not know yet. I currently only know that my boyfriend is anything but enthusiastic.
He keeps saying that this type of jewelry is now completely out and that the risk of it getting infected at some point would be extremely high. Is that really the case? Of course, I'm especially worried about the inflammation objection.
Plus: I get extremely upset that he wants to restrict me like this at 47 years old. I mean: Hello? I did not say that I will get a tattoo or the like!
Thanks already, Pete
Dear Pete,
Intimate jewelry is still in - of course not only within the gay scene. However, it is also true that with every piercing - whether on the ear or on the penis - comes a certain risk of infection.
But I honestly don't assume that you will pierce yourself or that you will turn to a dubious piercer in the backyard. If all hygienic precautions are taken and you follow up accordingly, nothing should happen here.
However, this information did not settle the discussion between you and your boyfriend. Obviously, it seems to bother him on several levels that you are interested in an "accessory" of this kind. In addition, there is unfortunately no compromise here. There is no "half piercing".
Whether or not you ultimately get stung is your decision. You should not make your decision dependent on your friend or any trends. The good news is that you - as you say - "only" decide to get a piercing and not a tattoo. This means that if you no longer like your body jewelry, you can simply take it out.
To be honest, I always feel it's a bit of a shame when one partner wants to forbid the other partner something that the latter is enthusiastic about and for whose consequences he is ultimately responsible himself. It would certainly be best if you talk to your sweetheart again and possibly show him how he can also benefit from a piercing - even without wearing it himself! Many men find sex with someone who wears an intimate piercing very exciting. Maybe your boyfriend is one of them, too, without knowing it?
I am relatively sure that your relationship will not fail because of the question "Piercing, or not?"will fail. However, I also understand that you don't want to upset your sweetheart.
My tip: talk to him, show him pictures and explain to him how important this "extra" on your body is to you. At the same time, you can also offer to remove the ring, the chopstick, whatever, when you are in bed together and he attaches importance to it.
Should you finally decide on a piercing, it is important in any case that you take care of the corresponding area - and not only during the healing phase. This way you (will you?) have fun with it for a long time.
Your Dr. Randy
do you often think my penis is too small?