When people think of classic coming outs, they often think of the famous conversation with their parents or closest friends. Sooner or later, however, a conversation with work colleagues is usually on the agenda - at least if the rumor mill is already bubbling anyway.
But what should actually be considered when coming out at work, when it comes to bringing the whole thing over the stage as stress-free as possible?
As a general rule: Of course, no one MUST come out in their professional environment if they don't want to. However, this is often a welcome alternative to secrecy about one's relationship status.
The following tips will definitely help.
Tip No. 1: Work out a "concept
This tip sounds a bit "pragmatic"? Maybe. Nevertheless, it is definitely helpful to think about what you want to say. Many things are possible here. From a short "By the way: I'm gay!" to a detailed conversation in the office kitchen.
In the first step, as is so often the case, it is important to assess the situation correctly. With a colleague with whom you get along well, you talk differently than possibly with the boss anyway.
Tip No. 2: Do not lie
At some point, usually in the context of a small talk round, questions come up, such as "How long have you actually been together with your girlfriend?" come up. Here, of course, it is best not to lie. If there is no girlfriend because your better half is male, it is often advisable to come clean. If you are gay, but lose yourself in stories about female partners, you will eventually appear extremely untrustworthy.
Tip No. 3: Wait for the right time
Many people are so excited about coming out that they would like to shout it to the whole world once they have made up their minds. But every now and then it's better to hold back a little and wait for the best time instead.
Or in other words: Coming out in a quiet minute is simply better received than saying "I'm gay!" between two meetings.
Tip No. 4: Pay attention to reactions
Even if it is fortunately part of "normal everyday life" for many people today to know queers, it can unfortunately still be that some colleagues do not react as positively as desired. If it becomes apparent that there is no end to whispering, rumors, etc., and if the whole thing even turns into workplace bullying at times, it is important to complain to the responsible office and defend your right to a relaxed working atmosphere in this regard.
(The good news, however, is that many coming outs are also largely positive in the workplace simply because many people are now able to separate job and personal matters. )
Tip #5: Continue to work effectively
The coming out is over and was a complete success? Wonderful! Then it's now time to focus on the day-to-day business again. Because: As exciting as the last few days were, in the end it was all about coming clean to the people you spend a large part of your life with. But since "being queer" should be quite normal by now, there will definitely be new topics at the latest the next day that are at least as interesting.
Did you know that more and more gay men have a university degree?