Just about everyone has prejudices. Sometimes consciously, sometimes completely unconsciously. Many queers are confronted with the same phrases about sexual orientation and "typical queer behavior" over and over again. And that's exactly why they exist: the classics that are sure to make just about every queer person white-hot and that always raise the question: how do I react to this garbage?
The following five sentences have definitely made it into the - not praiseworthy - prejudice charts.
Sentence No. 1: You have never had a real man/woman!
Here, of course, the question arises: What is a real man/woman? Not only does this saying seem extremely arrogant, it is also simply not very intelligent. No one, because he was disappointed by the opposite sex, consciously decides to become gay or lesbian, for example. But that is exactly what many people do not understand. Unfortunately.
Sentence No. 2: Are you actually the male part in the relationship?
Another classic prejudice! To have a harmonious relationship, you don't necessarily need a man and a woman. Therefore, there is simply no need to think in terms of "man" and "woman". Mind you: There are definitely homosexual couples where both of them enjoy appearing either a bit more feminine or a bit more masculine. Here, too, however, it is not a conscious decision that would run along the lines of "You like this and I like that!", but is usually based on the individual character. And anyway: As long as everyone involved is happy - what do outsiders care who possibly takes on which "role"?
Sentence No. 3: You all cheat anyway!
This is a prejudice against which gay men in particular have to defend themselves. A suitable counter-answer would be that statistics repeatedly show that queers and straights apparently do not differ significantly when it comes to fidelity. For example, around 30 percent of straight men declare that they have cheated on their partner at least once. Unconditional fidelity definitely looks different. Accordingly, it is very narrow-minded to deny a person the ability to be faithful just because they love the same sex.
Set No. 4: It's just a phase!
There are definitely queers who become straight at some point. However, just as with straight people who discover their queerness at some point, it is very rude to deny a person their feelings at a certain stage of their life and not take them seriously.
Sentence No. 5: If everyone were like you, we would become extinct!
That's right. If all men were gay and all women lesbian, it would be a tight squeeze with "procreation for love". But not all people are queer... And not all straight people want children. Therefore, it is worthwhile to think outside the box a bit and to refrain from trying to dictate another person's life and love.
Accordingly, this shows once again how important it is for society to be as colorful as it is.
How should you respond to prejudice?
Sure: The sentences mentioned above trigger emotions in many people. But it would definitely be wrong to react angrily and thunderously here. First of all, this will make it even more difficult to overcome prejudices, and secondly, an outburst of rage is not very effective anyway. Therefore, there are really only two solutions:
- Ignore
- Argue objectively and hope that at least a fraction of the message gets through.
Here are a few tips on New Year's Good Intentions.