Life in social media

Help Dr. Randy, he lives out our relationship in the social networks (Toni, 18 years)

My friend discovered Instagram for himself a few weeks ago. Here he actually started from zero to one hundred. Not a day has gone by in the last few weeks that he hasn't kept the net community up to date about our relationship.

I feel that this is absolutely unnecessary. He posts pictures of the two of us and adds expressions of love. I think it's nice that he seems happy, but can't he "just" tell me his "I love you" in person? (What's especially interesting is that I'm not signed in on Insta at all. So I can't be tagged or anything like that. So what good does that do him?)

I'm not interested in the public knowing what's going on with us. Especially since he accepts just about every subscription request and I no longer have any overview of who all knows my face.

Thank you your Toni

Dear Toni,

For many people, expressions of love on Insta have become part of their lives. As long as both agree with the postings, there is actually no problem here.

But you don't seem to be comfortable with your boyfriend's behavior. The first step is to talk to him and ask him why he posts pictures of you so often. Often this is a kind of "I'm really happy and everyone should know it" action without further ulterior motives.

In some cases, public posting also serves as self-affirmation along the lines of "Look, everyone! I'm in a happy relationship! (Please spread the word!)". For what reasons your boyfriend acts this way, I can't tell you. Maybe he doesn't know it himself.

If it bothers you, maybe you can suggest him to show you pixelated in the future. There are also many photos of couples that show one part from the front and the other, for example, from behind. Such pictures have long since become the norm on social networks. Maybe this is a kind of compromise that you can live with?

If your boyfriend knows that you are not comfortable with the way things are right now, I honestly can't imagine that he will continue to insist on your "Happy Couple Pics".

Another option you can think about, however, is whether it would be okay for him to accept only your closest friends as subscribers. In this case, you could be sure that no one - except your close circle of acquaintances - will get to see the pictures.

Ultimately, the whole thing should come down to a compromise. Apart from that, however, you can see his actions - in my opinion - as a compliment. He seems to be very happy in your relationship, otherwise he wouldn't want to share his feelings with the whole world. Don't be angry with him, but also make your point clear to him!

By the way, you write that you wish you could hear the "I love you!" more often in real life. This is a wonderful conversation starter that can be built upon.

Maybe your friend doesn't even notice how much he gets caught up in his Instagram world and loses sight of reality? Many people who are often on social media need a small, loving, but definite wake-up call.

All the best to you!
Your Dr. Randy

 

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